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Your message has been crunched down into an incomprehensible combination of 1s and 0s, then blasted through wires, at the speed of light, to a little shack in the middle of the North Pole.

There, it will be printed out on ticker tape and chiseled into a clay tablet by a team of Yeti.

Afterwards, the tablet will be bundled in lamb’s wool and loaded onto a sled. Rotating teams of huskies will mush South all through the night to ensure your message is delivered to us by daybreak.

Waking to the sounds of barking dogs, we will rush to unwrap and decode the clay tablet – eager to respond to your message.

You have set events in motion. You can expect a reply from us within the next 24 business hours!

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